Tuesday, July 24, 2007

I'm feeling very depressed right now. I just visited my mum at her room and she said something that hurt my heart ALOT.. She said,"No use le. My illness cannot be cured.." in chinese.. Maybe we were right... Perhaps she already guessed it out.. That she had gotten CANCER... Poor mum... I really miss her old self.. I'm really so depressed.. but my pain in my hurt is nothing.. It cannot be compared with my dad's heart and my mum's illness.. The consequences of the illness are terrible and horrifying! Poor mum.... hopefully, god will bless her.. I really hope god can bless us or her by these ways:
1) Bring her away peacefully.. Let her go with Buddha.. Go to heaven.. The Western Pure Land of Bliss and Peace.. Away from her pain.. With grandma and grandpa..
2) May she recover..
3) May life after that will be no that bad..

Buddha, I'm begging you! Nothing is more important than my family.. If you don't help me, I'm really gonna be very disappointed.. But the feeling is still wierd.. I still don't believe it! She's dying! She's dying!! I feel as though I'm dreaming.. I rather hope to be in a deep coma now.. Which means these only happen in my mind when I'm in my coma..

LIFE WOULD NEVER EVER BE THE SAME AGAIN... NEVER WOULD IT BE THE SAME..

In a pedastrian paradise.